Talk:Apple watch

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Please change the infobox category "wearables" to "limb-mounted". --Haustein (talk) 10:56, 14 October 2015 (CEST)

Multiple Infobox values of one category, such as sensors, need to have a semantic property attached to them individually. Find out how to do it in Semantic_wiki_formatting#Dealing_with_multiple_values.

The weight and price semantic values in the infobox should be numbers only. Remove the "from" part or move it outside the semantic wiki tag.

When you are mentioning the price of the device in the infobox, write down the time of the moment of writing the information. Prices change with time and what costs 249 USD now, may not cost the same next year.

Please break down the Main characteristics section into multiple paragraphs. This 'wall-of-text' is very hard on the eyes.

Proofread your text. There are several expressions that don't make much sense (e.g. "The Watch is special in four chips which measure heart rate from your wrist." or "It could appear the same addicted problem to be still online") in English and need rewriting.

In the Company and People section, make a new line for each person and their role. The same goes for the information in the Important dates section. Additionally for this section, add relevant references should you find them.

The explanation in the Ethical section is very brief and shallow. It also lacks any references.

Health risk section is missing references. In fact, there are no references whatsoever!

Public and media section is empty. And so are the next sections. --Haustein (talk) 11:56, 16 November 2015 (CET)

Infobox data is missing references.

The Controls field in the Infobox is empty. Surely there are ways to control the device?

The prices mentioned in the first paragraph need to have a date added. Prices change over time.

The way the Main characteristic section is written resembles advertisement. Use neutral, factual tone.

Expressions such as "very impressive" or "control is very easy" have no place in academic writing. You are not writing a review on the device.

Again, do not use second person narrative, i.e. You... If you struggle with the style, take inspiration from the dry, factual style of any Wikipedia article.

Change "not suitable for the shower" to "waterproof".

Purpose. Again with the review-like style. "small but smart", "you need it", "easily", "in no time", "on the go". Rephrase these and others throughout your entry.

Company & People section is missing any information about the company.

Individual dates in the Important Dates section need to have references added.

The Ethical Issues section has many issues with style and grammar. For example: "Among other significant ethical issues concern the company’s strong brand name." is missing a verb. " the abandoned their plans thus losing money and canceling jobs" is needlessly convoluted and grammatically inconsistent too. Canceling is spelled wrong by the way.

The ethical issue about society being addicted to electronic devices is perhaps better suited to the wearables synopsis. For now, leave the paragraph there and we will discuss its addition to the synopsis later.

"Apple Watch offers us the ultimate wellness and healthy life guide" rephrase it. It is again to casual for this type of text.

"Preventive care - keep your Apple Watch and bands - as well as your skin dry and clean especially after workouts when you sweat." rephrase it so it says the company states this. Your entry is not a substitute for the device's user manual.

The picture of the rash should be perhaps an actual photograph of the rash, not an artistic depiction.

The Enhancement/Therapy/Treatment does not clearly state what the device actually do in these three categories. The section is unnecessarily complicated. The information about the modes of operation is better suited for the Main characteristics section.

"There is a famous quote that says “The first step to change is awareness”, " this has no place in academic writing, remove it.

Many of the sources you have used seem to be either from Apple fans or Apple themselves. There are potentially biased sources. Try to provide some third-party sources as well, please.

"There is always air of big expectation" Again, unfit for the academic style of writing.

Include more reviews about the device.

"Apple does not make political contributions to individual candidates or parties, and they do not have a political action committee." This is really not relevant to the device itself.

Gathering user information is better suited for the Ethical issues section.

Related technologies section is empty. If there are no related technologies or research, write down that there are none. It is better to have the section say that there is nothing than leave it totally empty.

Some of the references are only bare-bone. Go through them and add more information. --Haustein (talk) 17:08, 11 December 2015 (CET)